One of the most important concepts to living a balanced and healthy life is learning how to say no. I visited this point in my last post 5 Tips to Living a Balanced Life. Read more here. Today I am expanding on one of the points from that article and talking about the importance of setting boundaries.
One of the most important goals to me is to live a healthy and balanced life. You cannot put a price tag on peace. You cannot get a degree on peace. But you sure can learn some strategies. One of the best tickets to having a healthy balanced life is using the word No. That two letter word carries such impact.
When to Say No
I am an overachiever. I am the type of person who is late all the time. I am not trying to be rude, I just under predict how much time everything is going to take on my list each day that I always have to rush. My motto for many years was “Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can get done today” and “I can sleep when I’m dead”. Am I preaching to anyone? Anyone else have or had this philosophy? My schedule was so chaotic that I would have mental breakdowns and my physical health was in bad shape. I finally put down my pride and realized that I could not do it all. I needed balance.
When everything in life is constant drama and stress all the time, evaluate your life. Is there some adjustments you can make? That sure could be a whole life of material to talk about right there but I’ll just focus on my point. Do you have to go to every event and social outing there is? Is there something you can say no to? I am sure there is.
Saying no sometimes to people even you care about is called setting boundaries. I have friends at times that I really want to see, but I have had to pass up on social outings with them before because of my health or school. Even saying no to family is necessary sometimes. Think about the holidays coming up for example, it’s ok to say no to some events to spend time with your own family or having your own time to relax. No matter how strong, young, or healthy you are, your body can only run at a break neck pace for so long. Eventually you will burn out. Eventually your health, both physical and mental, will catch up.
Why people don’t say No
One of the number one reasons why people don’t say no more often is because they don’t want to let people down or disappointed them. First, those who really love and care about you will honor your boundaries. They will respect you when you have to pass on a social outgoing because you need rest. Second, you do not become a failure or a disappointment if you have to say no sometimes. It is mature to take care of yourself and know your limitations. There is no glory in pounding the payment till your worn smooth out. There is no prize for that.
. Be loving and social but know that you matter too. Third, some people believe that if they say no, they will lose a friendship or someone’s love. This is treading deep waters. If your friendship or relationship is based off being completely available at all times, you may need to reevaluate that friendship or relationship. No one can be everything to everyone at all times. It is not practical. A good healthy relationship or friendship will respect your time and space. They will respect that when you say No. They will respect when you need some time to rest. Set that boundary now or else that person may never respect your time.
How to say No
Saying no is a curse word for some people and for others it is scary to stand up. Start with small things like asking a friend if you can reschedule a get together on a different day to catch up on rest. Sure it doesn’t always happen so easily but it is a good habit to get into. Eventually this habit will turn into a lifestyle of living a healthier and balanced life. This concept can spill over into all sort of areas and situations in life. Saying no to someone who is not treating you right. Saying no to a job position that is not going to pay you fair. It is never too late to adjust your life and set boundaries. It can be scary for some people but saying No is healthy. Respect your time and your health. Take care of yourself.
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Love, Naomi Noel