It’s ok to Say No: Setting Boundaries

fall leaves and boots

One of the most important concepts to living a balanced and healthy life is learning how to say no. I visited this point in my last post  5 Tips to Living a Balanced Life. Read more here. Today I am expanding on one of the points from that article and talking about the importance of setting boundaries.

One of the most important goals to me is to live a healthy and balanced life. You cannot put a price tag on peace. You cannot get a degree on peace. But you sure can learn some strategies. One of the best tickets to having a healthy balanced life is using the word No. That two letter word carries such impact.

When to Say No

I am an overachiever. I am the type of person who is late all the time. I am not trying to be rude, I just under predict how much time everything is going to take on my list each day that I always have to rush. My motto for many years was “Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can get done today” and “I can sleep when I’m dead”. Am I preaching to anyone? Anyone else have or had this philosophy? My schedule was so chaotic that I would have mental breakdowns and my physical health was in bad shape. I finally put down my pride and realized that I could not do it all. I needed balance.

When everything in life is constant drama and stress all the time, evaluate your life. Is there some adjustments you can make? That sure could be a whole life of material to talk about right there but I’ll just focus on my point. Do you have to go to every event and social outing there is? Is there something you can say no to? I am sure there is.

Saying no sometimes to people even you care about is called setting boundaries. I have friends at times that I really want to see, but I have had to pass up on social outings with them before because of my health or school. Even saying no to family is necessary sometimes. Think about the holidays coming up for example, it’s ok to say no to some events to spend time with your own family or having your own time to relax. No matter how strong, young, or healthy you are, your body can only run at a break neck pace for so long. Eventually you will burn out. Eventually your health, both physical and mental, will catch up.

Why people don’t say No

One of the number one reasons why people don’t say no more often is because they don’t want to let people down or disappointed them. First, those who really love and care about you will honor your boundaries. They will respect you when you have to pass on a social outgoing because you need rest. Second, you do not become a failure or a disappointment if you have to say no sometimes. It is mature to take care of yourself and know your limitations. There is no glory in pounding the payment till your worn smooth out. There is no prize for that.

. Be loving and social but know that you matter too. Third, some people believe that if they say no, they will lose a friendship or someone’s love. This is treading deep waters. If your friendship or relationship is based off being completely available at all times, you may need to reevaluate that friendship or relationship. No one can be everything to everyone at all times. It is not practical. A good healthy relationship or friendship will respect your time and space. They will respect that when you say No. They will respect when you need some time to rest. Set that boundary now or else that person may never respect your time.

How to say No

Saying no is a curse word for some people and for others it is scary to stand up. Start with small things like asking a friend if you can reschedule a get together on a different day to catch up on rest. Sure it doesn’t always happen so easily but it is a good habit to get into. Eventually this habit will turn into a lifestyle of living a healthier and balanced life. This concept can spill over into all sort of areas and situations in life. Saying no to someone who is not treating you right. Saying no to a job position that is not going to pay you fair. It is never too late to adjust your life and set boundaries. It can be scary for some people but saying No is healthy. Respect your time and your health. Take care of yourself.



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Love, Naomi Noel



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14 thoughts on “It’s ok to Say No: Setting Boundaries

  1. These tips are great! I under estimate the amount of time it will take to do one more thing also leading to tardiness. I am learning to say “no” and crossing items off my to-so list permanently. We have become accustomed to busy, but busy is not always better. Amazing piece!

  2. Great post Naomi! When I was young, teachers often teach us to say “NO” to drugs and cigarettes. However as we grow, we forgot to say “NO” to our boss and peers.. this post serves as a timely reminder – thanks for sharing 😉

  3. Very wise words. Boundaries are healthy and as you become more in demand as adults, it’s an art to remember to set boundaries and learn that it’s totally ok to say no. Say no to certain things to say yes to the right things with God’s wisdom / Holy Spirit as our guide. You may never know your impact Naomi but realize you’re making an impact on those who God has you cross paths with. From one encourager to another…keep doing what you’re doing as you are making an impact. Blessing always.

  4. What a great article! So inspiring. I always found it really hard to say no, because like you said: people often think of it as rude. But standing up for yourself is so important! Like today, I went to Amsterdam and a random man complimented me. I said thanks and he kept asking questions about me, when I told him “no” / Not interested, he was offended…

    XO

    1. Well it is good to set boundaries. I mentioned in the post that this topic could really expand to many things but I wanted to centralize it to just talking about balance in our schedules and not over committing to the point of it being unhealthy.

  5. Omg ideally needed this right now!! Running myself to the ground, but will have to say NO to certain things now!!

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